Saturday, May 23, 2015

How to Write About Women

First of all when you start your story and you introduce a female character make sure she's in the kitchen, because lets be honest here thats all women are good for, probably making a sandwich or cooking a meal for her husband to come home to. Make sure her husband is the only source of income in the family, because women cant work and they don't provide anything for the family besides cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids, there can be no such thing as a househusband, only a housewife. 
If you do decide to make the female character work, make sure her job is not a dominant one, she cannot be the boss of any company at all, and if she is she probably doesn't make as much as a man, even if they have the same working hours and qualifications, the woman will most definitely get paid less, simply because she's a woman.
 If there is a female teenager in this family you have to show the conversation before the girl goes out, her parents need to warn her not to show any skin whatsoever, even if she is wearing a tank top, she is basically asking for trouble and we don't want any guys to have to control themselves or their hormones. Also before she goes to school make sure she knows she can not wear any shorts or cut sleeves, even if its 45 degrees outside, we wouldn't want to distract any of the other boys from their learning, because their lack of control is more important than her comfort. Otherwise she'll get sent home, she doesn't need to learn anything that day its okay for her to miss school if anyone feels she's inappropriately dressed. Also when mentioning her hobbies, since it obviously cant be a sport because girls are weak and fragile, maybe something like piano or ballet would be more appropriate. 
Now that we've established the two female characters in the family, whenever they are in a bad mood or get into a fight, automatically point out that its probably because of a guy or a broken nail or some stupid gossip, cause really, when do girls have real problems?
Also referring back to the country they are in you have to mention their obviously MALE leader, women cant be leaders what if they get their periods? They might start a war for a bad reason because they're always so moody, something men have never ever done before.
Basically, you just need to establish that men are better and equality does not exist.

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